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I just can't stand holding in every single emotion i have everytime i get in the car.

This is exactly the reason why i don't want to know WHY. I don't want to know the reasons why you, him and i are apart. I never want to know, even in the future. Cos i don't want to take sides, i don't want to have a certain feeling around you or him. So please respect that. There might still be some unresolved issues, but please don't show it infront of me. Don't show that side of you towards him, infront of me. Yes, i am suppose to understand because clearly, i am already at this age of a young adult. But deep down, i'm still this small kid. I still have so many 'What Ifs' in my head. I still look at both your photos together. I still cry when i suddenly think about it. I still think i am just this one person handling all this by myself. I don't have any brothers or sisters to cry to. I just keep it all bottled inside. Cos at the end of the day, when you come into my room and ask me how was my day with them, i know deep down you are somehow expecting a certain response. But no, i just answer the same old thing again and again, 'It was okay'. I don't like it. I don't like thinking back about my day cos you don't know that i hold back my tears while i salam them. You don't know that i hate saying goodbye to them and him. You don't know that i cry while driving back home.

You don't know because before i get down the car, i would wipe away all the unnecessary tears and put on a plain face just to get by the other half of the day.

polka

Will be posting soon...... wait for it!

people

Stereotyped.

People get the wrong idea.

para

Tests coming up next week and i have to start revising. During Bio today, we were surprised by a pop quiz.. as my lecturer called it. Shock of our livesssss cos we didn't revise a single thing! But thankfully it was okay, pheww :p Tomorrow is gonna be a long day as my Wednesdays are always full..

On Sunday night, my dream came true.. as Paggie said it. But i had to correct her as it came true.. again!!! Hehehe

Hari Jubah

Inspiring.

w

You won't find him drinking at the tables
rolling dice and staying out til 3
you won't ever find him being unfaithful

You won't find him trying to chase the devil
for money, fame, for power, out of grief
you won't ever find him where the rest go

When the money's spent and all my friends have vanished

and I can't seem to find no help or love for free

I know there's no need for me to panic

Never in my life have i met someone like him

I'm blown away by his love for me

if you ever wonder where it is you'll find him,

you will find him next to me.

almost

I knowwwww i haven't updated anything at all (if anyone even noticed..) but that's because i've been busy with college especially last month! Classes have started as usual and made quite a number of new friends. I am very grateful and happy with what i have and hope to do the best i could in the months to come. Come to think of it, i only have 9 months left to go!!

So CNY hols are starting soooon and i got no class on Fridayyyy. Woohooo plus tomorrow Phys class cancelled! So.. i get to head home at 2pm and first thing i wanna do is sleeeep. And someone is backkk already! Met him on Sunday and spent the day with his family! Finally had lunch with him yesterday after Phys class somewhere nearby. And hope to be spending abit more time with him before he leaves.. again. Hehe.

Wishing everyone happy holidays and especially to my dearest Chinese friends, Happy Chinese New Year!!

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It's almost a year.

From the moment i knew you till this day, i can still say that you are amazing. You are amazing in so many ways that you yourself don't realize it. I admire how humble you are. How kind and generous you can be. How you always prioritize your family. How you never forget your loyalty towards your friends. How you appreciate someone else's deed.

Here i am constantly wondering what is it about me that you see. Here i am doubting myself here and there and i know how much you hate it when i do that. But i will most probably keep wondering anyway about how i can be so damn lucky. No one sees us like how you and i see each other. No one knows exactly what we go through. And i don't really feel like i have to prove anything about us to anyone.. at all. Everything happens for a reason and God has made that very clear. I don't know how far He will take us through this journey together but i hope.. and i really do hope that this thing we have will last.