Bully free

I always pray for a stronger heart. Stronger mind. To not get easily hurt by simple words or actions. Because i know i am sensitive. I know i can easily be affected by someone else. But i'm no longer going to let something get in my way of me being who i trully am. To not let me achieve my goals. If i want to do something, i will do it. Even if i cry, i am not weak. Even if i care too much for others, i shall now learn to prioritize myself. I am not selfish, i am just seeing things in a new way for my own good. 

I think it's about time. 

Clueless

Note to self:

Caring too much may be an issue. When you care for someone so much, sometimes you neglect your own problems. Don't interfere with someone else's problems unless they allow you to. Solve your own problems first. You'll save a lot of unnecessary tears.

Always trying to make others feel happy and better about themselves, but you often forget to ensure that you are happy first. That's the problem right there. But what if that person means the world to you?

gap

I wonder if i am doing all the right things, saying the right words, behaving the right way.

mock exam

MY TRIAL STARTS TOMORROWWWW AND IT HAD TO BE PHYSICS FIRST OMG

ENGLISH ON MONDAAYAYAYAYYYY THEN ORAL ON TUESDAYYYY WITH SOME AUSSIE GUYYY

Then one week of much needed break :)

THEN THREE MORE SUBJECTS TO GOOOOO BIO CHEM MATHHHHH



Wishing myself all the best.

sleepless

I feel so low. So damn low. 

plan abcd

I can't believe i'm going to graduate from college soon.. My programme is not even for a year! Trials are coming soon.. next Thursday actually. Then i have a week off due to oral exams and then back to trials for the remaining 4 subjects after Physics on next Thurs. I just hope to do the best i can because so far.. i've applied to.. quite a number of universities.

Abroad (undergraduate):
1. Western Sydney University
2. University of New South Wales
3. University of Tasmania
4. Monash University (Clayton)
5. James Cook University

Local (undergraduate):
1. International Medical University

Still waiting for application forms for 2014 intake (undergraduate):
1. Penang Medical College (local)
2. Perdana University (local)
3. Royal College of Surgeons Ireland (abroad)

Basically.. i am just keeping my options open. To me, i really don't mind where i'm going to as long as i get to do what i want to study. Local or abroad, it's about how well you can achieve something. Australia universities' requirements are super high so i'm not putting my hopes too high for it but i've done all the applications.. now just wait for an offer and finish up my IELTS. Local Uni's requirement is surprisingly high too!! So.. if all else fails.. i'll probably do Bachelors in Biomedicine and then do my MBBS as a graduate. Meaning.. at the end of the day.. i'll have two qualifications.. Which is actually.. quite impressive! But.. takes super duper hard work to go through two stages of it. I just pray to God everyday to ease my application process and to be able to continue studying.

If i do go abroad, I'll miss my family, opah, nenek, besties, friends and of course.. this guy. ♥

w

I am so lucky to have you. 

tunggal

The truth almost always hurts.

Maybe it's just what most single child have in them. Too sensitive. Get hurt easily. Emotional. Maybe that explains why they need someone to lean on to. Of course everyone assumes that single child gets all the love from both their parents. Yes, but what about to feel loved by someone else? To feel cared about by a significant other? To feel like they have all the attention from that special someone? What about that?

particular

I am the type of person who is very particular about certain things especially time. I'm not the fussy type who only eats this or that.. or only would prefer to sit on this chair and not on that sofa.. I just take people's word for their timing quite seriously. Well, shouldn't we all? I'm not saying i am not a patient person. Oh, i think i am quite the patient one actually. I understand all things don't go like how we want them to but even if they don't, does it take up so much time to say sorry? I dislike making people wait for me. That's why i make sure that i try my best to not let anyone wait for me.

Simple, we should just take the extra effort to actually be on time.

Everyone is particular about something. Too bad for some, mine is time.

Omarrrrr

Previously in my blog, i posted a video on Josh Brooke's X Factor Australia audition cos well.. i like his song choice and how he sang it ;) Both years he auditioned (2011 and 2012) was my favourite and now... since im following up this year's Australia X Factor, i found a new guy!! Hahahhaahha

Meet Omar Dean ;)

w

After a long day, all i wanna do is lay down on my bed and give you a call. Just have an endless conversation about nothing.

kind

Sometimes we get so tired of explaining to others why this and why that. When they say something about us, we will keep on trying to defend ourselves for the purpose of... what really? To prove we are right.. to make a point.. to let our voice be heard? One day, we all get to some point when we just don't care. 

If someone thinks im wrong, even though i clearly know i am right.. then so be it. I don't want to waste my breath trying to explain things to people who don't listen or compromise. So.. i just nod. Yes, you are right. You are right. You are right. You are right. 

And i am wrong.

addicted

-

I understand i can't always expect you to be at your best all the time. Just like what you told me before. I still love you even on those days.

open mic

Despite the technical errors before the performance (which i am still unsatisfied with because REZA SALLEH wasn't the host that night and Kelvin or Kevin.. i don't remember what his name was, was the host and was slightly getting on my nerves. Argh i could've seriously started an argument but thankfully it is the holy month of Ramadhan), it was still a great night out with my dearest friends!! Some new faces joined in who are my college mates, Mei Si, Amalina and Nicholas! Thanks guys for taking the time off from studying for EE2 just to support your friend here.. :) And ofcourse the familiar faces.. plus Rashdan this time!

Honestly, i don't think i'll be back at The Bee's Open Mic soon.. after that Kevin/Kelvin guy incident. Gonna try out another open mic i found at Paradox Cafe, Bandar Utama! :)

hilly

There is just something about you that makes me wanna be better than before. That makes me want to be the best that you can ever have. To make sure you're happy with the one you're with now. To make sure you get through your lowest days. I care so much. Sometimes to the point where i forget my own needs and you endlessly remind me that my happiness is equally important. I agree but i really do hope that you know that what i'm giving you now is my all. And i also know that you care for me, even on days when you're down, on days when your mind is filled with thoughts, on days when you're not in a good mood. I know. Even if you don't say it everyday to me. I know. And i love you.

blue

Wouldn't replace you for anyone else. 

need you

I create unnecessary scenarios in my head. I create unwanted problems. I mess things up. Why do i always do that? I was never this person before. I was never this paranoid. I was never so desperate for your attention.

blind leading the blind

First time both of us joined something like this and i must say, well done to him cos he actually woke up early for it! ;D So it was a 3km walk although he and Darsh insist that it was more than that! Managed to have breakfast right before the walk nearby the Dewan Sivik, PJ. Met Darsh before and after the walk then went to Dr. Cafe for breakfast. It turned out to be a great morning.. and i enjoyed it very much. Thank you for leading me :)

mirror

" The woman is the reflection of her man. "

value

I don't plan to take my time with you now for granted. Every second counts. And i want you to be with me through it all.

mat

Something for us to ponder.

gala dinner

Accompanied ayah to the College of Surgeons Academy of Medicine of Malaysia Gala Dinner last night. I was assigned to record he and his quartet's performance and also to be the photographer :p And so i did.. and i enjoyed myself so much. Not because i was in a room full of professionals, doctors, professors and medical students. Not because i felt like it was amazing to even be in that event. Not because of the motivation i felt after everything ended. It was because i was with my ayah throughout the night. It was because at every person he greeted for a short chat or just to say hi, he would ask me to come over and introduce me as his daughter. His daughter. I felt happy that he acknowledges me. I felt happy that he wants people to know me. And to see his students coming to him and asking how is he doing and all, i finally get to see what he has accomplished as a teacher as well. I never get to know or see these things, simply because i'm not always around him. I feel grateful. So grateful to have him as my ayah.

ellen

cry

" Cry as hard as you want to. But just make sure when you stop crying, you never cry for the same reason again. "

-

Stuck in my head.

from now on

happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy facehappy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy facehappy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy facehappy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face happy face

alllll the way through. Should i ever stumble upon a situation i do not favour, i will read this post. I will.

:)

rewind

Remember those days?

When every ride back home was such a long journey. When every goodbye had to come with a tear. It has tested us emotionally with distance. It has tested our patience and love for each other. The rough times are just scattered somewhere in my mind but the sweet moments will forever remain. I will miss Perlis, in many ways. The tears that had once stained my pillow.. sejadah.. cheeks.. will return again when it is my turn to be away. We will encounter distance again in the near future. And we will be prepared for it, insyaAllah... kan? :)

Mama's birthday dinner

-

I still miss you even when i look at you across the table.

violin

Dear Aida,

I am a man of simple virtues and express matters as I see them. So I am very pleased with your results. To place it in a formative perspective and encapsulates it through the eye of one soul:

• It is the personal effort and initiative of the individual.
• The environment, support structure and dedication of parents.
• Your success is a representative triumph to dignity and honour those in your age group whose lives are either mired in poverty, are hungry, are refugees, are homeless, those who are sick, those trapped in war or conflicts, those unable to afford an education and those who are afflicted by desperation, despair, desolation and loneliness.

The third point is my conscious waking and sleeping point every day of my life. I believe that God clothes you and touches you with success for a special designation to enable and awaken your immortal soul to be a dedicated living sacrifice to heal with deep compassion the brokenness and disparity of life.

Please consider with deep reverence the sacredness of and treasure of such an entrustment, if there is a prison of doubt, or the shackle of insecurity, break free of these remnants. Walk with a sense of adventure and celebration in a path of wisdom ordained by God through your parents to realize the special gift of your potential that will in little part embrace and renew a tired world.

I conclude by requesting you plant the seeds of deep love and loyalty towards your God, immerse your heart in the Muslim faith and respond with loving kindness towards your parents.

I am privileged and humbled and offer my commendations, respect, esteem and prayers for your endeavors  You have the hand of my friendship for life.

Affectionately,
Dominic Damien

MAH

Always on my playlist.

kawan

My dad says maybe my friend doesn't have good social skills. Yeah, maybe that's the case or maybe you just don't remember us anymore. Maybe you just decided to ignore and forget all that we've done all these years. Not to count our deeds towards you, but just a simple reminder to myself that.. we (your friends or maybe to you, we may no longer are) were once there for you. I am just so disappointed.

Yeah, my dad could be right. I'll just take it as that.

Bad social skills.

The Hill

Happy 18th Birthday to Joe Yee and Nicholas in advance! :)